We Moved (and you didn't even have to pack)

I officially moved the blog and all of my followers yesterday. Today will be my first "new post" at the new site.

Join me there (for free boxed wine - woo hoo!)

http://www.slappyintheface.com

Imagine

I wasn't really much of a Beatles fan until after Derek and I saw Love (the Cirque show at the Mirage in Las Vegas) and we literally walked out of the theater absolutely stunned. We bought the soundtrack and then I become engrossed in the story that was The Beatles. This past summer we watched the Imagine documentary on Netflix (if you have Netflix ... WATCH IT!) and became fascinated with John Lennon and all that he stood for.

The thing that struck me the most about him was how calm and easy going he always seemed to be, even when discussing something that he felt passionately about. Today is John Lennon's 70th birthday and for today I will imagine a world with peace and love.

"You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one"

the chorus from Imagine by John Lennon

Beef 'n Cheddar For Everyone !!!

One of the advantages of being a child of a hoarder (ok - there really aren't any advantages of being a child of a hoarder, but I am trying to put a positive spin on it) is that the hoarder parent tends to bring you fairly useless things on a regular basis.

For example: the last week of September my father bestowed upon us one hundred and four (oh yes - I counted them) Arby's coupon flyers that expired on September 30th. First of all .... some of my kids don't even like Arby's. Second of all ... there are about twenty coupons in each flyer ... multiply that times one hundred and four and you get 2,080 coupons for Arby's. TWO THOUSAND AND EIGHTY COUPONS ! How in the world were we supposed to use TWO THOUSAND AND EIGHTY coupons in a week's time? Were we supposed to trade them in for goods or services?

"Thanks for changing my oil ... here's an Arby Q and some curly fries on us."

I guess that we could have handed them out to the homeless people. "Sorry that you are down on your luck man, but if you can find an Arby's nearby then be sure to try the Jamocha shake and the new chocolate turnover."

Maybe I should have added up their value and mailed them off to Discover for credit on my payment. Who knows? The payment chick might enjoy herself a Beef 'n Cheddar every once in a while.

Oh well ... I shouldn't complain ... at least he stopped bringing us the leftover bowling alley pizza. Of course now that I have said that - I have upset the hoarding gods and there will be an anchovy and pineapple pizza without cheese waiting on my porch when I get home (along with a stained sweater he found at a park, one earring, and some keys to things that we don't own).

The Best Show That You May Not Be Watching

Remember Martha Plimpton from The Goonies? Me too. She is on a wonderful new show on Fox where she plays a mother of a guy in his 20s. Oh Martha - say it isn't so! Are we really old enough to be playing the mother?

Anyway - if you like shows with clever dialogue and snarky humor then this is the show for you. Derek and I laughed and laughed at last nights episode. You can watch full episodes online - give it a try - it's a good one !

http://www.fox.com/raisinghope/

So Funny Because It's True (Somewhat)

The First Ever Monthly Challenge

Anybody can do a weekly challenge .... but how many of us can stick to a real challenge for a whole month? Well this chick is going to try it. Due to our overwhelming debt and our ever expanding waistlines, I talked Derek into doing a monthly challenge called "Go Nowhere Month". For the month of October we are not going to go out to eat as a family, not going to get take-out food as a family, not going to go to the movies, not going to go shopping just for the sake of shopping and basically live like we are poor folks (wait ... we are).

The rules of "Go Nowhere Month" are that Derek and I can each get a fast food lunch once per week (Bueno for me every Friday) and we can go places as a family as long as it doesn't cost us anything. For example: Rachel has to take her Senior picture for "the panel" on the 16th and we are then going to go to the mountains to take family pictures after that with my sister and her kids. We are going to pack a picnic lunch (because we all know that sandwiches taste better in the mountains) and not spend money on take-out food or going out to eat that day. We also have my nephew's birthday party on the 24th, but it doesn't start until 2 so we can eat lunch at home before we leave.

Derek tried to sabotage the plan on Saturday when we ended up with only two kids at home. "You know ... we could go out to eat with only two kids and it would be a lot cheaper than normal". I thought about it for a second .... I really considered it ... but then I started adding it all up in my head .... a tank of gas $30, dinner for the four of us plus tip around $50, drinks that we would have bought at the gas station before we left town $6 ..... nope .... not going to do it ! I was tempted ... but I resisted !

It's going to be tough. Really tough. Derek and I have spent the last nineteen years living above our means - eating take-out food, buying junk that we didn't really need, taking vacations that we couldn't afford, etc. etc. It's time to stop ! We have so many bills that I have to write all of their due dates on the calendar each month in order to keep track of them and I am tired of it. I AM TIRED OF IT !!!

So let the challenge begin !!! I just hope that Taco Bueno doesn't have to declare bankruptcy without my daily contributions to their bottom line.

Oh To Be Young and Know Everything

Well the sisters were bitches to the new girl at the grocery store and of course, Rachel has gotten herself involved right smack dab in the middle of it. She has yet to learn the fabulous life skill of ignoring people and she informed me just now on the phone that she is going to tell the manager to make one of the sisters stay up front so she doesn't have to work around her tonight. To which I replied, "Rachel, you are the employee. You don't get to tell the manager how to do his job." To which she huffed into the phone and hung up on me. Gosh wouldn't the world just be a fabulous place if people actually did what we told them to do. If that's how it works then I have this to say to Rachel:

"STOP DATING THE LOSER BOYFRIEND AND LEARN HOW TO STAY OUT OF ARGUMENTS THAT HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU! P.S. IF YOU DON'T WANT MY OPINION ON SHIT - THEN DON'T ASK FOR IT !!!"