I Feed Bees

It's not ... I feed bees to bears or I feed bees to rabid monkeys ... no - I actually feed the little bees. A few weeks ago while sitting out on our deck under the recently purchased umbrella (that I now love - there I said it - and yes I have told Derek that I was wrong about it ... but alas that is another story), a bee came along and started "drinking" off of the edge of Derek's soda can. We knew that he wasn't going to bother us if we just let him get his drink and go - so we just let him be (pun intended). Well Derek got up to move the water hose in the yard and evidently our little bee buddy got selfish and flew down into the can. Can you see where this is going? When Derek got back to the deck, he sat down in his fave chair and proceeded to take a giant gulp from his can. He then proceeded to spew the soda along with the very traumatized bee out onto the deck. That poor little fella (the bee not Derek) probably felt like he had been swallowed by a fat, bald dude and spit back out on to a deck.

Of course, me being me, I go in the house and get some water to rinse the bee off. Nevermind checking the husband's mouth for bee stings - nah - he's a big boy - he can handle it. I slowly poured water on the little bee and he walked around as if he had had a few dry martinis for a little while, then flapped his little wings and took to the sky. I do remember hearing a tiny "thanks kind lady" as he flew away and I swear that he was flipping Derek off with one of his wings and vowing future revenge.

So now, when we sit out on the deck, I put out a little saucer of soda or tea for the bees to drink. Derek thinks that I am just luring them to our house so that they can form a posse and attack him while he sleeps. What? That's just crazy talk ! I would never do such a thing (insert evil, mad scientist laugh here). Actually, I have told him that I now consider the bees to be my little pets and that if he doesn't let me keep feeding them then I will just be forced to get either a dog or a small pony. He is thinking of names for my new little bee friends as I type.