It's Not Vegas .... Not Even Close

For four years in a row, the hubby and I went to Vegas for vacation - one time we even took the kids. Luckily, I was doped out of my mind then and don't really remember whether or not it was a horrible experience. Actually, I was doped out of my mind for all of our Vegas trips so we could have been mugged by giant sub sandwich eating gorillas and I wouldn't have even known it. The point that I am trying to make here is that we really did have a good time on those trips to Vegas (or I think that we did), but because of my Paxil, Ambien, and alcohol withdrawal (plus some other horrific issues) - we haven't been to Vegas in three years now. We really really really want to go back but really really really can't afford it right now. So Derek has decided that we will just go to one of the local casinos on Saturday and that will be "good enough". Well let me tell you ... it is not the same.

First of all - one of the things that I absolutely love about Vegas is that if you want nachos at 3 a.m. then there is some place that has an all night nacho bar and you can get your fill of cheesy chips. I also love that nobody and I mean NOBODY looks at you strangely if you are walking down the street at midnight in your pajamas with a four foot tall drink strapped to your neck. I also love that you can gamble, drink, party, drink, vomit, drink, and drink twenty four hours a day. I really don't drink much now that I am pretty much a recovering alcoholic (another lovely Paxil side effect), but just the thought that I could do it all damn day long is very appealing to me. Plus drunk people are funny. Drunk people playing slot machines are even funnier. Drunk Elvis playing slot machines is even funnier than that.

The local casinos do NOT offer the all night nacho bar. They do NOT have drinks so large that they give you another person to help you carry it. They do NOT let you walk around in your pajamas (tough lesson learned there). They are just not the same. Sure they have the same games and you can lose your money just as fast, but the whole experience is different. Derek thinks that we are going to go on Saturday but I told him "honey - it would just be quicker if we walked up to the door, opened it and threw two hundred bucks in, asked the security guard to kick you in the nuts and then we just leave. It would make us feel about the same in the end. Well I would be laughing about you getting kicked in the nuts, but after that it would be the same feeling."