Friday, August 28, 2009

Word Problems for Rednecks - #1

Question: Your cousin, Billy Don, had decided that this weekend would be the perfect time to take his two boys, Joe Don and Frankie Don, duck hunting. He has asked you to go along so that you can be a shining example of proper hunting technique for the new hunters (as long as you don't tell inappropriate jokes or scratch yourself). You have already promised your supervisor at the mobile home factory that you would work an extra shift this Saturday for a coworker who had a tragic greased pig wrestling accident (but that's a story for another day). If you work the extra shift then you will get time and half pay of $15 per hour for the 8 hour shift. If you choose to go hunting then you will need to buy more ammunition that costs approximatly $20, a new set of camo bib overalls that cost $135 (the d*mn skunk used your last pair to have babies in after you left them out in the barn - but you couldn't bring them in the house with vomit, beer, and creek water on them now could you - but that's a story for another day - d*mn skunk !), and two duck decoys at $30 each (note to self - when you are drunk do not use the duck decoys for target practice - kinda defeats the purpose of having them). Oh wait - you will also need to purchase at least one case of beer (well you will have to do that with either option so I guess you don't have to include that in). When you calculate the money that you could make by working an extra shift and compare it to the cost of going hunting with the "Don" clan - which is the better choice?

Answer: This is actually a trick question. We all know that going hunting is the better choice in all circumstances.

Be your brother's best man at his 4th wedding or go hunting? GO HUNTING

Witness the birth of your 7th child or go hunting ? GO HUNTING

Meet with your probation officer or go hunting? GO HUNTING

Have lunch with the President or go hunting? TAKE THE PRESIDENT HUNTING ! (Just don't invite that ex-vice-president fella - he is dangerous with a rifle !)

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