One of the advantages of being a child of a hoarder (ok - there really aren't any advantages of being a child of a hoarder, but I am trying to put a positive spin on it) is that the hoarder parent tends to bring you fairly useless things on a regular basis.
For example: the last week of September my father bestowed upon us one hundred and four (oh yes - I counted them) Arby's coupon flyers that expired on September 30th. First of all .... some of my kids don't even like Arby's. Second of all ... there are about twenty coupons in each flyer ... multiply that times one hundred and four and you get 2,080 coupons for Arby's. TWO THOUSAND AND EIGHTY COUPONS ! How in the world were we supposed to use TWO THOUSAND AND EIGHTY coupons in a week's time? Were we supposed to trade them in for goods or services?
"Thanks for changing my oil ... here's an Arby Q and some curly fries on us."
I guess that we could have handed them out to the homeless people. "Sorry that you are down on your luck man, but if you can find an Arby's nearby then be sure to try the Jamocha shake and the new chocolate turnover."
Maybe I should have added up their value and mailed them off to Discover for credit on my payment. Who knows? The payment chick might enjoy herself a Beef 'n Cheddar every once in a while.
Oh well ... I shouldn't complain ... at least he stopped bringing us the leftover bowling alley pizza. Of course now that I have said that - I have upset the hoarding gods and there will be an anchovy and pineapple pizza without cheese waiting on my porch when I get home (along with a stained sweater he found at a park, one earring, and some keys to things that we don't own).