I am sitting here on hold with our cell phone provider because I had called to activate my son's phone - was on the phone with them for over 30 minutes while the customer service rep talked to me like I was five and said "okay" after everything she said to me. We entered the handy code to activate the phone and of course the handy code is not handy as IT DOES NOT WORK !!! Now the old phone doesn't work nor does the new phone. Bambi - the new rep has now had me take the phone completely apart and verify that it was in fact made by 10 year olds in China and that I want to throw the phone through the window next to me. Check !
Beth is upstairs screaming because she scraped her leg really bad yesterday in gym and pretty much tore off all of the skin down to her bony kneecap. The bandage that we put on it stuck to the sore and when she pulled it off, it took off more skin. So now I have Bambi in one ear, a screaming kid in the other, and if I had another ear it would have the other twin in it telling me that the first twin is upstairs screaming (as if I and the rest of the block didn't already know that).
Oh - I forgot to mention that I am also working on finding information about the locations of Big 12 football stadiums for a geography project while talking to the cell phone rep, pouring out Tylenol, making my dinner (reheated fish sticks and tator tots), talking on the cell phone to the daughter who is at the softball field taking pictures for yearbook, and trying to explain to my son why I am helping with the girls' homework. I refrained from saying "well son - I am helping with their homework because the class is taught (and I use that term losely) by a dumb ass coach who comes up with these assignments while reading the sports section of the local newspaper because he is a small town coach and cannot see past football season for anything". I refrained ! Who in their right mind would give two sh*ts about "Which two teams visiting Big 12 teams this week are located closest to one another?". I don't. Bambi doesn't. The 10 year old in China that made the phone that doesn't work sure doesn't.
I just want to scream but instead I will be nice to Bambi and try to get the damn phone to work, send Tylenol up to the screaming kid via the other twin and promise her that she can have a Nutty Buddy if she stops screaming, heat up my fish sticks for the 3rd time (a hot meal ? what the f is that?), calmly explain to my daughter at the softball field that she needs to be home by 7, and turn to my son and say "they just needed help - that's why". I am a mom - that's what we do ! Then we make a drink and sit in the bathroom floor talking to ourselves. Don't worry - I only drink on the odd numbered days. Oh crap - it's the 10th. Correction. Don't worry - I only drink on the even numbered days.