We Should Have Listened to the Human Trader

In 2000, Derek and I went to see the remake of Planet of the Apes. Ok - it wasn't an Oscar worthy performance by any means, but it did have some clever little comments. One that we laughed at was spoken by the "human trader". He was the little monkey guy who rounded up all the wild humans and took them down to the shelter so that the apes could come through and pick them out for use as slaves. The leader of the apes brought his niece down to the shelter to pick out one of the humans to keep as a pet. She picked out a little girl to take home and keep in a cage in her room. Oh how sad. Well before they left the shelter, the human trader pulls the uncle over to the side and warns him that before the human turns into a teenager that they needed to take it out to the woods and "let it go" because "they last thing that you want in your house is a human teenager". Derek and I laughed. That was ten years ago. Our kids were tiny then and oooooooooh so cute. Little did we know that truer words have never been spoken.

In July, the twins will turn 13, which will mean that we will have five teenagers living in our house. Five !! 5 !! Cinco !! (for my spanish speaking friends) The human trader was right ! People tend to forget that those cute little toddlers grow up to be teenagers who smell worse than barn animals, have the lovely ability to roll their eyes at every single thing that you say, are able to flunk an English class even though the fact that they don't actually do any work in the class is NEVER their fault, and will eat anything that doesn't try to bite them first. I had bananas laying on the counter for over a week so they could get brown enough for me to use them in banana bread. SOMEBODY ATE THEM !!! If I had told them "you have to eat those brown bananas" they would have rolled their eyes, let out some barn animal noise and flunked a class in protest of my meanness ! Why didn't we listen to the human trader ???? WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY ?