Monday, July 19, 2010

Another One of Those Moments

Friday night Beth and Emily had friends come over to spend the night. They basically spent the entire evening in their room watching movies, painting their nails, listening to music, and eating anything that wasn't tied down. As I was walking past their bedroom I could hear them talking loudly and I stopped to listen through the closed door. I don't know what the original conversation was about, but I overheard Emily say "well look at all of the bad stuff that happened to my mom and she got over it .... she has a really good life now". The tears started to flow. I couldn't help it.

We tried really hard to shelter the younger kids from the horrific things that happened about four years ago, but I they know the big story. They don't know the details about the meds and my withdrawal, but they do know about the arrest and the rumors that were all over town. They have even had a few kids at school say really hateful things to them about it. Hearing her say that about how I had a really good life now was what made me cry. They have seen me at my worst, but I am so glad that they can see that I have chosen to be better and try not to be bitter about the whole thing. That I have chosen to take the bad things that have happened to me and use them to educate others. That instead of crawling in a cave and feeling sorry for myself, that I choose to live and to tell my story in the hopes that it can change the world.

P.S. Bryce leaves today to go to church camp and I told Derek several times yesterday that he needed to have "the talk" with Bryce before he left. Derek looked me right in the face and said "he is going to church camp ... nothing like that is going to happen at church camp". I literally choked on the water I was drinking ... Derek sure does have one hell of a sense of humor.

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