Thursday, July 15, 2010

The Worst Thing That We Can Tell Our Children

I have five very different children. It's amazing sometimes how you can raise five children in the same house and their personalities and little quirks be so very different. I have smart kids. I have funny kids. I have kids who complain about being bored all the time. I have kids who could entertain themselves with rocks and sticks. I have a few agreeable kids. I have kids who swear that the sky is orange just to have something to argue about. They are unique in their own right, but we never tell them that they are special.

My kids have known for years that they are not any better than anybody else. We tell them that. We show them that by giving to the homeless, donating to charity, and making them do real chores around the house. We will never buy them a car. We will never pay for their college. We will never tell them that they are prettier, smarter, or better than somebody else. To us they are fabulous people (perfect, crystalline, beautiful snowflakes), but to the rest of the world they are not anything special (just another snowflake in the pile of slush on the side of the road). We don't want our kids to ever feel that just because they were born means that they are in someway entitled to something ... that they somehow deserve the best just because somebody else has it. We want them to strive for the best, but be able to be content when things aren't at their best at all. Every single one of my children has a special gift that they can share with the world and use to the best of their ability, but that gift doesn't make them better than anybody else. It doesn't make them special. I think the worst thing that we can tell our children is that they are special. Elite - Smarter - Prettier - Faster - Funnier

The best thing that we can tell them is that they will always be a perfect little snowflake to us, but when they get out there into the giant snow storm of the world that other little snowflakes are there too and sometimes those snowflakes can benefit from your special gifts and sometimes you can learn from theirs.


  1. You are a very smart momma!!!!!! I wish there were more like you.

  2. Loved this. How true it is. I watch all my friends wrap their kids in a blanket of "misguided adoration" and I wonder how these *perfect little angels* are going to survive in this big, big world without that shelter....I don't do that to my boys. Your entry is refreshing. Thanks for the read this morning.