Thursday, April 29, 2010

The Friendship Myth


One of the lessons that I am trying my hardest to teach my kids (along with wearing deoderant every day and how to find their way out of a cardboard box) is that the friends that they have in high school will NOT be the friends that they have later in life. You have the friends that you have in high school basically because their parents chose to live in the same town that your parents chose to live in and ta-da .... they are your friends. I grew up (and still live) in a very small town of less than 3,000 people in the sticks of Oklahoma. There wasn't much variety at the friend store .... this was more like shopping at a Dollar General for friends rather than the Sam's Club. You didn't get to compare features, prices, extras, etc. You just got who you got. I got the generic toothbrush of a friend when I really wanted the Supersonic Water Pik of a friend.

I had the same best friend since kindergarten. We assumed that we would be best friends for life. Boy howdy - was I wrong on that one. When all of my legal mess hit the gossip mill (and the news and the newspaper and the local coffee shop), I got one phone call from her telling me how sorry she was and blah blah blah. ONE PHONE CALL ! It has now been over three and a half years since my drama started and I haven't heard from her again. Oh wait ... I take that back. The day before I was supposed to go to trial ... I got a text message from her that said "I am praying for you ... good luck tomorrow". Really? A text message? Sending it by carrier pigeon would have been more personal than that. I so wanted to rent a billboard and list every horrible thing that I know about her ... but alas ... I refrained (for that my cardboard box in heaven will have extra glitter on it).

I think that I get so mad at myself over all of it, because I feel duped. Duped by the meds that turned me crazy. Duped by my doctor who told me that they were perfectly safe. Duped for standing by a friend (who is also bat shit crazy on meds, but can't see it) that I would have supported and helped no matter what .... only to be dropped like a hot brick at the first sign of trouble. Probably dropped faster than a hot brick actually .... like a hot boulder ... that has had kerosene poured on it and been set on fire ... and then sprayed by a skunk. You get the point.

Through all of my withdrawal and all of my legal mess there have been a few women (and a guido kind of dude) who have stood by me (even though we have never met) and I just wanted to take the time to tell them thank you for not judging me, for not hating me, and for not dropping me like a hot brick (or flaming skunk sprayed boulder). Ever heard the phrase "A friend will help you move, but a true friend will help you move a body"? Well I have no doubt in my mind that if I ever needed these wild women (or the guido) in that capacity that they would not only fly to my rescue ASAP - they would bring their own shovels. So to you ... Amity ... Fiona ... Ranger(Drew) ... Cally ... Nichole ... LC ... and Laurie (even though aliens have taken over her brain) ... a fresh glass of the finest wine available in a box ! I love you more than words can say and I will never be able to repay you for sticking with me through all of this.

5 comments:

  1. you brought a tear to my eye and a lump to my throat! Thank you my friend. I feel the exact same way about you.

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  2. Gina, you brought a lump to my throat as well. You're a wonderful human being and someone I'm proud to know. And yes, I do know you. Much love to you! You kicked and continue to kick, some major ass! LC

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  3. I have had many "friends" I thought had my back, only to turn on me...its when times get truly rough, that you see who your real friends truly are.

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  4. Two of my high school girlfriends are still two of my true blue buddies whom I always know I can count on. Maybe that's a rarity. I do know that true blue friends are a treasure, and it sounds like you have a bunch of them. You're a lucky lady. :)

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  5. G you are an amazing woman and I am proud to call you my friend! And you are right I WOULD jump on a plane if you needed me.
    Thanks for helping me keep swimming when I thought I was going to drown. Love you!!

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