I have told so many people that when they start to dig the depression hole to distract themselves and put the shovel down. I have done that myself many times. Sitting around dwelling on your problems doesn't solve them and you have to be constantly working on being your own solution. I am trying .... really trying ... but for some reason this week has hit me hard ... oh let's see ... could it be ...
- the fact that we now have two rent houses to get cleaned and repaired in the next week or so
- the screaming fight that I had with Emily yesterday because she yelled at Derek .... then she rolled her eyes ... to which I said "Don't roll your eyes at me" ... then she rolled her eyes AND huffed at me ! I left the room before I went into major ape shit mode.
- the fact that school is starting and I don't get to be a teacher any more - this is Rachel's senior year and I was supposed to be there for that - and now I am crying about it - great ! just great ! (damn you felony charge - a very long story that I promise to reveal in it's entirety some day - but obviously this is not a good week to do that unless I want to risk snot and tears shorting out my computer)
- the fact that we are in shit loads of debt (we paid $40,000 to lawyers) and are probably going to have to replace the carpet in one of the rent houses (which means using the Lowe's card that we swore we would NEVER charge anything else on ever again)
- the fact that school starts in two weeks and we are going to have to buy clothes and school supplies for the kids, but really have no clue where that money is going to come from
- the fact that my boss's health is not great and if something happens to him then it will be next to impossible for this place to run without him (small, family owned company) and if that happens then it will be next to impossible for me to find another job - not many places are looking to hire somebody with a Bachelors of Accounting, a Masters of Education and an extensive knowledge of how horrible prescription drug addiction can be (if you hear of something ... please let me know)
So yeah .... today I am digging the depression ditch and don't want to feel better ... I am going to dig the ditch and then lay a foundation for my fort that I am going to make out of empty wine boxes ! Now where did I put that damn hard hat?
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