Friday, August 27, 2010

My Cardboard Box in Heaven

Years ago, back when I still went to church, I heard a preacher talk about how a Christian is guaranteed to go to heaven. However, they are not guaranteed to get a golden mansion. He quoted scripture and talked about how our deeds on Earth determine what our mansion looks like in the afterlife. Hmmmmmmmmmm ... well ... um .... I am not counting on a golden mansion in my afterlife. Maybe a cardboard box. I am thinking that my past deeds will get me the box, but my current and future deeds might get me some hot pink glitter to put on it ... or maybe some little twinklee Christmas lights .... or God might grant me a Bedazzler. Oh yeah baby ! I am going to have the best looking cardboard box on the block .... might even add on a cardboard box garage with a cardboard game room and a cardboard sauna ... oh wait ... the hot steam might make the box sag ... scratch that .... how about a cardboard wine cellar made of boxes of wine !!!

I just hope that my box isn't behind the mansions of the people from my former church who treated me like crap when all of my scandal broke out .... or maybe they are hoping that their cardboard box isn't right next to mine. Muahahahahaha


  1. Did you and I go to the same church????? I, too, was treated like crap at church when my scandal broke out (albeit, my scandal was of a different nature than yours). :) I wasn't even hoping for a cardboard box. I had just resigned myself to selling lemonade to the rest of the people down in hell!!! And now...I get to look forward to a card board box in heaven! You have totally made my day! Bring on the bedazzler and boxed wine!!

  2. I would let you borrow my Bedazzler any day. We are going to have the best boxes on the block !!